SHOCK then pride - that is what Hannah Kable felt when learning she had been selected in the Australian under 21s Jillaroos squad.
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The shock came because the former Lithgow hockey talent had not really thought about national selection given this year is her last in under 21s.
Kable had actually thought that COVID-19 had robbed her of the chance of living out her Jillaroos dream.
So the unexpected email which landed in her inbox last week was the best kind of shock Kable could have asked for.
"To be totally honest I sort of forgot because I haven't been able to play 21s now for two years now because of COVID. I played in 21s for the first time when I was 17, so it's been a few years," she said.
"So I wasn't even thinking about it and when I found out I was in shock. I was reading the email when it came through and I was thinking 'What is this?'
"It was shock to the system for sure."
Once it had sunk in that she'd been picked in the 27-player Jillaroos squad, that shock Kable felt was replaced by a feeling of pride.
"If anything I'm more proud of myself. I pulled myself out of NSWIS [New South Wales Institute of Sport] last year just because I wanted to be at home, I wanted to be with my partner, I wanted to be around my family and come home and play with my sister Lily," she said.
"I think I'm one of the only people in that Jillaroos squad to have done it without being in an institute of sport. It was just a pure proud moment in myself for the hard work and persistence that got me there.
"It's always been an ambition of mine to make the Jillaroos, the 21s side was something I always wanted to get into, but it was something I forgot about because I missed those last two years."
Kable earned selection in the Jillaroos squad for her efforts at the Hockey Australian Under 21s Championships in Perth.
She skippered the NSW State side which finished in fourth spot, missing out on a bronze medal after a penalty shoot-out.
"It was a bit of a hard tournament for us and I think we just got overwhelmed in the end, but it was one of my favourite tournaments I've ever had," Kable said.
"I know we didn't come away with a medal, but it was a really fun tournament and a good way to end my New South Wales representative era. It was bloody awesome to go away and be captain of a NSW under 21s side, it was a privilege."
Though being picked in the squad does not guarantee Kable will go on to play for the Jillaroos, she is crossing her fingers she will emulate Bathurst talents Rachel Miller and Tamsin Bunt who did so in 2012.
"There will be a camp and we have to qualify for Junior World Cup in December, so fingers crossed I'll be able to play then," she said.
"Obviously next year I'm too old for Junior World Cup, but they'll probably use us older girls to help qualify. It is really sad that I'm too old for Junior World Cup, but I'm just happy to be there.
"I know this pushes my name to higher squads which means I could get invited to a camp next year for the Hockeyroos squad. It's good to get my name out there."
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