The following statement from Michelle Skewes has been republished, with permission, after the sentencing of her former husband Jon Seccull on Monday.
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Mr Seccull, a former Victorian White Ribbon ambassador, repeatedly abused, manipulated and raped Ms Skewes was jailed for 15 years.
"Such abhorrent conduct is breathtaking," Judge Frank Gucciardo told the court.
"This was brutal and cowardly ... causing admonishment and terror for the victim.
Read Ms Skewes' statement in full below:
I have not been eagerly waiting for (Monday's) sentencing and have given no energy to any concern that the sentence might not be as severe as it could be.
I have to trust the judge and the justice system as it is.
All I wish for is that this case will inspire others to acknowledge that they can regain control of their lives and reclaim their dignity.
I welcome the sentencing handed down today and truly appreciate that the Judge has grasped the situation as presented.
However, the fact that Jon was found guilty in the first place is of far greater significance to me, in terms of how it might help other victims in years to come, than the number of years Jon will spend behind bars.
Make no mistake, the road to this point has been an extremely challenging one but it has been worth every painful and humiliating step.
I remain dumbfounded by how much acutely personal and embarrassing information I had to present, confirm and reconfirm before the court would accept it as evidence, but the bottom line is that guilt was eventually pronounced and a very dangerous individual has been eliminated as a threat to society, albeit only temporarily.
My advice to others who are in abusive relationships is to accept that they are stronger than they give themselves credit for.
To survive abuse, with all it entails, and far beyond what the legal system recognises, takes massive strength and shows you can survive leaving, even if it might not feel like it at the time.
This case has proven that the perpetrator does not require an existing rap sheet and a reputation for malevolence to be proven guilty in a court of law.
Gather any support you can and take whatever steps you need to be free of that abuse.
Abusers are clever and deceptive, and I encourage people to reserve judgement and consider giving victims the benefit of the doubt.
Abusers very often only abuse their victims, so just because you've never seen or experienced 'another side' of a person, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
Let's also put aside our stereotypical and long-held assumptions of what behaviour constitutes abuse and accept that emotional abuse and coercion - simply being repeatedly forced to do things against your will - is as inappropriate and unacceptable as a punch and invariably, a sign of worse things to come.
There is a long way to go before our legal system evolves to best serve victims of domestic violence, abuse, and rape.
As things stand, there was no guarantee that Jon Seccull's name, despite the criminal nature of the things he did to me, would be added to the Sex Offenders Register.
It's not a given because the offences were committed against his wife or partner, as opposed to a stranger, and so additional consideration is apparently required to validate this decision.
It proves that there has been only marginal progress since 1984 when it was first recognised that rape can actually be perpetrated in wedlock but I am delighted that progress is being made and that my case will contribute positively to the application of the law in similar circumstances.
That the Judge's discretion and summation showed that he will be on the Sex Offenders Register for life is such a relief.
I wish every victim the strength to change their circumstances.
You can get through it and you can win in the end.
- Michelle Skewes
- Free-call the crisis care line 24 hours on 1800 806 292; 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or www.1800RESPECT.org.au; Lifeline on 13 11 14. If it is an emergency, call triple-0